Thursday, September 25, 2008

He's friends with me?!

Recent quote from David Letterman, speaking of Johnny Carson
"You know, there are people in everyone's life who you can't believe you have a relationship with, and you are truly in awe of them, because they are so iconic and so influential that you're just kind of pretending. You know if you behave the way you really behave, they would recognize that you're a complete dope and they would never have anything to do with you ever again. That was kind of the way I felt about Johnny. I was so worried that I would say something idiotic and he would just pull me out of his Rolodex. … I never got out from under the feeling that he and I really could be friends because I idolized him and I knew by any measure I would always fall short."

Ok - Wow, this speaks volumes doesn't it? I was recently hurt with the knowledge that I'm just not my brother's favorite person. Call me a Bible thumper or Jesus freak but he just doesn't like me. I've known this my whole life and yet I have also denied it my whole life. I have always wanted him to like me. I tried to be the sister he wanted, but the fact was, I am who I am and no matter how much I tried to hide it, he could always see through me. Finally I stopped trying to hide who I was and he doesn't really speak to me anymore.

My point? How many of us have looked at God (like I would look at my older brother) and we want him to like us so we try and be on our best behavior or something silly, hoping he can't really see who we are afraid he won't like us?
A friend of mine recently said, I would never do that, I'm at church, God might see me! I said to them, God's always within you...He can always see you.

God knows who you really are no matter how much you try and hide. God sees EVERYTHING you do and hears everything you say even before you say it. Guess what...He likes you anyway. He knows who you are at the very core and he loves you. He made you! Be open, don't hide, he sees you anyway and he knows your heart.

Ok, so you mess up from time to time. Sometimes you mess up really big. Sometimes you have bitterness in your heart. He still loves you and you can't hide it from him. When you hide who you are, all you are really succeeding in doing is separating yourself from God, the one who loves you no matter what. Embrace his friendship, Embrace his relationship, Embrace Him.

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